One of the hardest things that friends have told me they had to endure was acceptance in Japan. While it can be a difficult topic to discuss and many peoples views may vary it does not change the fact that it takes time. For those that have never moved in your life this transition will probably be the hardest on you as your place in society has been on firm ground for many years. Japan is  on a whole other level when it comes to becoming one of em. While in the broad sense you may never be treated as a Japanese however in your personal relations this is more than possible yet it will take time and a keen lookout to the details with your interactions with people.

One of the first things that newcomers will be introduced to is the Honne and tatemae that exists within Japan’s society.

Honne is in the simplest form the “truth” or true desire of an individual or group. These aspect of a person are usually kept private and only revealed to the closest of friends because of the social norms that are required in Japan’s society.

Tatemae on the other hand is what is to be expected in society or better described as a facade.

With that said, one must become aware of the differences between the two as the clues will be extremely subtle as the Japanese tend to avoid conflict at any cost. Many arguments or disagreements will usually not be direct unless they reach a point where the matter can not be avoided or resolved.

But one of the first things that people will notice for those that stay for the long term is what it feels like to be the outsider. The best way to describe the way you will be treated is as a guest. This is where Tatemae will come into play as you are treated with care and respect but you are not part of the group.  This is a simple matter of not taking part in the Honne aspect of your relations with the people you are with.

Wrapping in Japan is the term that will help show how you will be treated in many situations as you are introduced for the first time. Think of wrapping as layers to the true relations that you seek to establish with people you come in contact with. Wrapping involves everything from where you will be placed in a house as a guest to the way you will be spoken to.

These aspect of living in Japan may seem like they are meant to decieve yet I would advice against looking at it in a negative light as this is the cultural norm and even a Japanese person would be treated the same as an outsider to the group.

So keep the faith for th9se that wish to stay in Japan for the long term, your time will come when you will no longer be the outsider. Only that too has its own ups and downs but that another topic for another time.

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Filed under: Japan\'s Culture • Living In Japan